I can't get no...

Just like with the apple earlier on in the week I am finding more and more disappointing meals/snacks. It takes so much time counting the calories, putting stuff together, knowing what you have left til the end of the day and when it finally comes around to eating it you are left so unsatisfied. Take for example dinner today; I was so frigging looking forward to it, planning had gone into making up the calories of the meal, weighing everything out, it even looked pretty fucking good. Halfway through and I was more than gutted. I mean it tasted ok and all but....it just lacked something. Sure enough within a couple of hours I was already restless and wondering if I had counted wrong earlier and perhaps I had enough for a snack.

Perhaps its more of a mindset that I have to break. Instead of seeing food as what it is, nourishment, I see it more as pleasure, as satisfaction and as comfort. I think this is probably going to be a toughie to beat out of myself if I ever want to succeed at this diet. I don't see any room for true blissful pleasure whilst dieting. Everything seems cut off.

More things learnt:

• A lot of calories on packages are counted in 100grams. It appears that 100grams is a ridiculous amount of food to me. I had 170g of rice with my meal today and it took all of 5-6bites to consume. If that. 
• I don't find myself dizzy or with a headache any more! Thinking after this week I should take down some calories and start exercising to complement it. 
• Variation. I need to find more variation, I have a terrible habit of being lazy and just trying to eat the same things over and over, thinking this could be the reason behind the boredom. Alas I now have the challenge of trying to find energy to spend hours combing through snacks/meals and their calorie worth.

Just feeling a little sad and sorry for myself at the moment. Its day4 and I suppose I am allowed to still feel these cravings and all that I used to eat. Hoping that if I keep going and start seeing the results that the feeling of empowerment and enjoyment will come back :( for now though, just plodding onwards.